Hello, Health Enthusiasts!
Welcome to this week’s installment of our Informative Health Blog, lovingly written by yours truly and posted every Saturday morning, my attempt to keep you informed, entertained, and hopefully learning something new! If health blogs aren’t your thing, you can easily opt out. But if there’s a topic you’d love to see covered, drop me a line.
Stay healthy, stay curious, and as always, thanks for reading!
Warm regards,
Andrew Siegel MD
Last week's entry was about the almighty avocado: Holy Guacamole. Kudos to urologist Richard Watson for pointing out to me the urological significance of the avocado. The word “avocado” has a rich etymological and cultural history that traces back to the Nahuatl word “āhuacatl,” meaning “testicle,” a nod to the fruit’s shape and perceived aphrodisiac qualities by the Aztecs. Who knew?!
The Bidet: Simply a Better Way
(Thanks to ChatGPT for cartoon above)
There’s a classic Seinfeld moment where George Costanza, in one of his many failed attempts to impress a woman, proclaims that toilet paper has never evolved: “It’s just paper on a cardboard roll. That’s it. And in 10,000 years, it will still be exactly the same because really, what else can they do?”
As much as I hate to say this... George nailed it. Toilet paper is basically medieval technology we’re still voluntarily using in the 21st century. I mean, we have smart fridges that tell us when we’re out of oat milk—but we’re still wiping with dry paper? My kids would call this situation “gross,” and for once, I agree with their slang.
Let me be blunt: wiping your behind with tissue is an outdated, ineffective, and frankly unsanitary ritual. It's like using a dry paper towel to clean up a bowl of chili—messy and woefully inadequate. Fortunately, there's a smarter, more civilized way to manage your personal hygiene: the bidet.
While the United States clings stubbornly to the roll, the rest of the world—Europe, Latin America, and especially Japan—has moved on. Bidets are a global hygiene upgrade we’ve inexplicably resisted. But not in my household. Oh no. I installed a bidet over 30 years ago and let me tell you: it’s been life changing.
You might call me “anal compulsive.” I’ll take that as a compliment. Because there is nothing better than the fresh, squeaky-clean feeling you get after a quick bidet blast. It’s the hygienic equivalent of upgrading from flip phone to iPhone 16—except with fewer emojis and more... dignity.
Think about it. We use water to clean everything else: cars, dishes, teeth, bodies. So why stop short at our most important exit strategy? The bidet makes sense. It’s not just cleaner—it’s cleanest.
So What Is a Bidet, Anyway?
Glad you asked. The word bidet means “pony” in French, which is oddly appropriate—you straddle it like you’re preparing to ride off into the sunset of superior hygiene. Classic bidets are ceramic fixtures that sit next to the toilet, looking like the love child of a sink and a commode.
They come with hot and cold taps, adjustable water pressure, and just enough firepower to clean you without starting a pressure washer incident. You sit comfortably, aim, rinse, and emerge as fresh as a daisy. Bonus: your hands stay far, far away from the business end of the transaction.
Yes, a traditional bidet requires a bit more space and plumbing. But if you're not quite ready for a full equestrian experience, you can easily install a bidet attachment, a.k.a. a washlet, on your existing toilet. These little gadgets hook into your toilet’s plumbing and require only a nearby outlet—voilà, you're upgraded!
Bidets: Now With Bells, Whistles, and Seat Warmers
Mine’s a humble 1995 model—no remote, no seat warmer, no high-tech water laser. But the new ones? They’re wild. Heated seats. Air dryers. Remote controls that probably have more features than your car. If you want to explore the luxury bidet lifestyle, check out the Wirecutter review on the best models (yes, The New York Times takes cleanliness seriously, too).
A Global Affair
Cleanliness isn’t just a luxury—it’s a cultural norm in many parts of the world. In Muslim traditions, for instance, water is a mandatory part of the cleansing ritual. Toilet paper alone doesn’t cut it. People use a small vessel of water, which goes by many names:
Lota in India
Tabò in the Philippines
Gayung in Indonesia
Buta in West Africa
No matter the name, the message is clear: Water > Paper.
The Bottom (Line) Once you go bidet, you never go back. Seriously. It’s like seeing in HD for the first time—you can't unsee it. Your hygiene improves, your hemorrhoids become happier, your fissure becomes friendlier, your quality-of-life skyrockets, and bonus: you help save the trees. So join the clean team and treat your backside to the respect it deserves.
Wishing you the best of health,
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Dr. Andrew Siegel is a physician and urological surgeon who is board-certified in urology as well as in female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery. His mission is to “bridge the gap” between the public and the medical community.
He is an Assistant Clinical Professor in the Department of Urology at Hackensack Meridian School of Medicine and is a Castle Connolly Top Doctor New York Metro Area, Inside Jersey Top Doctor and Inside Jersey Top Doctor for Women’s Health. He is a urologist at New Jersey Urology, a Summit Health Company. He is the co-founder of PelvicRx and Private Gym.
Dr. Siegel is the author of several books. The newly revised second edition (June 2023) of Prostate Cancer 20/20: A Practical Guide to Understanding Management Options for Patients and Their Families is now available in print and Kindle formats on Amazon.
Video trailer for Prostate Cancer 20/20
Preview of Prostate Cancer 20/20
Andrew Siegel MD Amazon author page
Dr. Siegel’s other books:
THE KEGEL FIX: Recharging Female Pelvic, Sexual, and Urinary Health
MALE PELVIC FITNESS: Optimizing Sexual and Urinary Health
PROMISCUOUS EATING: Understanding and Ending Our Self-Destructive Relationship with Food
We have used water and soap in the Philippines since we were babies! I used to tell my kids they have the cleanest butts in the whole county!